04 May 2007

thoughts for when i get back

alright so i'm an addict.

  1. why people can't keep their traps shut
  2. the game, not the players

02 May 2007

dealing in

me (in my head): oh
me : oh? really? blabber blabber blabber
too much gets acquired in translation

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I'm taking a break from blogging (well that's the idea anyway).

To muf, it's because i've spent too much time on this.. page. What is the point, really?

to mahes, thank you for being the most influential person in my life (*gag... rolls eyes).

To meenu, WELCOME! bad timing though...
in case a certain big guy asks again, i was perfectly fine bald.

I haven't been as of late, (there.) but I'm done with hoping someone's gonna come along and say- have a hug.

And I'm taking a chill pill too.

Au revoir!

28 April 2007

REM

I often find myself utterly confused upon waking up from sleep. My dreams seem so real to me that much of the time some serious analysis is required for me to tell reality from reverie.

Then again, I also have some dreams too bizarre to be considered real at all.

1. The one where I'm cleaning my bathroom. So feel as if I do it every other day when the truth is I really haven't done it in a week.

2. The one where I'm a printing machine...er

3. The one where tweety bird's big ugly head is swelling... and then the air from its head flows into its body. this goes on for a while.

4. The one where my teeth start dropping.

5. The one where i'm doing absolutely nothing... this is pretty confusing too. I've tried to convince myself im dreaming when I really am doing nothing too.

...
there'r more but il do them some other time

27 April 2007

blah blah blah

its absolutely terrible it is. it was rather. must stop buzzing, and really im buzzing way too much these days. every day it starts at about 2pm and goes on for variable lengths of time. when i say buzzing, i mean the sort of agitated jumpy feeling i used to get after too much coffee. and today ayman just went on talking and i think the guys nuts. because if he isn't i must be. no wait, i might be nuts but he really must be. that was almost traumatising having to buzz and feel sleepy and listen and contemplate going for mala maung all at the same time and now i have all this fried rice. so much for not eating.shankari's wearing a green bra strap and sitting in front of me looking at the god of small things. and all this talk about god.if i believed in god id have to believe that god let so much bad happen. then again karma does fit into the picture. but that just seems like something someone came up as a feel good tactic. someone who felt good about life in general anyway. and to think i used to think i'd end up being a monk on a hill. haha. im so screwed for cns, why doesn't it stop. perhaps its psychological. and if you think this looks weird, it really isnt. had this lecture on racing thoughts and i think im subconsciously thinking of it hence the manifestations. and i like typing on hiruni's laptop.

and im alice on msn for a while.

15 April 2007

Thought I Looked Familiar, Dintcha?

http://www.myheritage.com

Tag- I'm It

Right, so I've been enlightned as to what a tag is at last.
The rules are pretty simple.
I've beent tagged by David, so now i divulge 6 bits of weird info about myself then find someone else to tag to do the same thing.

  1. I sleep talk (in tongues or german by Trish's word), grind my teeth, and if it's your unlucky day, sleep walk too... I've been known to wander off to balconies.
  2. I love playing scales. There's nothing like some reptitive, methodical movement to help you de-stress. God Bless Hanon and my running shoes.
  3. If I hear you singing something, I will find it near impossible to stop doing the same- until you hum something else that is.
  4. I've been looking for a metal detecter to help me find my keys. Course, I might have to get another one to help me locate that too. (Don't ever give me your keys.)
  5. I percuss EVERYTHING... heads are a personal favourite.
  6. And, er,... getting a little ocd about showering when I'm not at home. I run bact every few hours when I'm in KL. It occured to me that I might have a problem when I refused to leave the house during the last water cut.
Tag:- Mufee, Min

13 April 2007

so now what?

Right, so I doodle with blog surfing on my run-away-from-imu-day, only to find myself (surprise surprise!) skimming through more imu-ite blogs. To be fair, i've unearthed hordes of juniors' blogs but I think i'll update my link list later.

Decidedly making a flee attempt from medic rationale and whinging, I tried a 180^ turn and before i knew it, I was knee deep in the smuck of leftie blog archives-owned by young, disgruntled, tech savvy idealists who have things to say and have discovered at least one way of saying them.

Don't get me wrong, just like any other non bumi in this country, my parents are gnawing furiously at my psyche and taking all right turns possible to get me out of this place. Not that all that much effort is needed for the former. I mean, all you really need is a few years of government school education to know that Muthu was a rubber tapper, Chong a tin miner, and Abu a farmer: a nice big integrated happy nation we are. Alright, so the economic segregation along racial lines?- The british took the fall for that. Look how we got past it-

Equality for all! The average Joe has no need to fear now, for mediocrity (and that's me being polite) get's rewarded with killer education opportunities and subtle financial nudges. Perhaps I should mention the fine print: (Not all races need apply).

So we get rid of the colonial bastards, elect our own leaders, and create a constitution to protect the people who got us here. But wait a minute, what do we expect? Rights?

Visit Malaysia 2007- marvel at the brilliancy and creative genius behind the Eye of Malaysia, The technology on which the twin towers stand, and the fact that all Malaysians speak in Malay but the chicks at KFC counters can't understand the menu written in English.
Don't you just love national pride?

People as of late have been trying to convince me to see either side of the coin, none have tried taking a middle stand. Adaptability, the key to survival isn't it? It seems that I've adapted to life here, and perhaps that scares me a little now. That i've taken comfort and familiarity over everything else I'd decided I ought to stand for.

My nation, my home?

I'll readily admit to being confused and undecided.